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Boys - Making Things Difficult Since The Beginning of Time
People are funny things. They say they want to be alone, that they are happier that way. Then they keep communication lines way open. Talking to you, showing up at your door at 5am after planning it though mutual conversation. It can be confusing to say the least.
Spending the time with these types of people can be an ego boost. Or it can be soul-destroying for the girl, the object in the equation. The boy is adamant that yet, despite the obvious wish for company and contact, 'vaaants to be alone'. Because, they're apparently happier that way!
Colour me completely confused. The ego boost is amazing. Attention, whether positive or negative, is the attention just the same. Anything a girl can do whilst in the midst of despair to get that desired contact will be an idea she will entertain. All sensible ideas just won't occur to her. She is heartbroken, and devastated. And trying her utmost to show the boy how much she cares. How much she is still there for him when no one else is. And still, still he doesn't understand. Men can be often blinded to any show of emotion, preferring to brush it away like an irritating buzzy insect.
The boy doesn't generally like to show any sort of emotion or indeed feelings of any sort. The one I currently refer to is typical of the stereotype 'strong and silent'. Overtly so. This man, when met with any array of feelings he finds difficult to deal with, sticks his head in the proverbial sand. He ignores his head, and silences his heart, willing himself not to 'feel'. Is this because he is acutely aware that, should he let himself emote, he will have to acknowledge and deal with the feelings he finds so difficult to contend with. They terrify him, and many other men.
Into his shell he will retreat, popping his head out from time to time, to gauge the storm. He is content to live in his comfortable little bubble, extending invitations only to certain friends, family, work, and not forgetting his mum, to whose apron strings he is tightly bound with. Funnily enough, this invitation does not extend to the person who has caused the out pour of feelings he is so desperate to stem, just as blood flows from a wound.
Should the girl coax the boy out of his turtle's shell? Is there any point to it at all?
Can love as deeply felt by she, and deeply hidden and misunderstood by him, conquer all?
This girl loves her boy, as awkward and annoying as he is, for he is hers. As long as he will text and talk, and visit and touch her, she gives a hundred percent of her to be his. And only his.
This girl realises the end may be nigh. It has come, and gone, and come and gone gain. But to forge ahead, she must let go of the past, and embrace the present. Her journey to the future is right on front of her, if she could only accept it. If she can only understand that to let go of the old painful past, by inviting the tentative nerve wracking new in.
Begin your journey, girl. Forget boy, and be happy. Because you're damned lucky, even if you don't feel it.
